Friday, October 12, 2007

flames game day



well, the stats don't reflect how good of a team the flames are so far. while currently were ranked second last in the league (even worse than the hated deadmonton coilers), we did so against impossibly tough competition and only three games to test ourselves so far.

but what does the test REALLY tell us? answer: that the flames are passing with flying colors so far. in all three games, the better team (thats the flames, fyi) lost while posting better efforts than the opposition. each and every player is pulling their weights on the team. they just have to learn to play as a collective, not as individuals trying hard. once that happens, the flames will dominate--and all signs are pointing to that happening tonight against teh laughable dallas stars.

Prediction time: Mike Keenan will guide our boys to a stunning 4-2 victory over the stars tonight. Goals for Phaneuf (3) and Huselius. Stars sham goals for Hagman and Zubov.

meanwhile, the walls continue to crumble in on the COILERS, as it becomes more and more obvious that not only has there team NOT improved over last season, theyve actually gotten WORSE by stacking themselves with do-nothing rookies (gagner, nilson, brodziak) who will likely get demoted to the AHL and OHL or traded for a third-tier player or two who can eat up those tough minutes for the coil. seriously, i have never seen a more hapless team in my life. sheldon "minus thirty" souray QBing the power play? LOL get real coilers. u guys are out of your league and out of your minds.

Prediction time: COILERS take a devastating 6-1 drubbing at the hands of the Vancouver canuckleheads tonight. i'd say "expect some heads to roll", but its quite clear that nobody at the EIG will fire anyone for anything if no one was held accountable for last seasons disaster. poor pitiful COILERS

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

jarret stoll: 2nd line yesterday, 4th line today, waivers tomorrow?



so the coilers have done just as i suspected: they're playing with the chemistry set and demoting jarret stoll, once considered a legitamite player but whose now pointless during the entire preseason and regular season, to the FOURTH line.

so get this: macT, obviously pissed with stoll, is demoting him to serving alongside the likes of Jean luc picard francois jacques and Samwise Gagner, two kids drowning in the deepend.

is stoll being demoted to the line of 4th line garbage minute players for good? will he ever score more than 10 goals in a season again? if i were him, id be very worried that stacey's mom is going to find someone a little less washed up.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Flames and Coilers game day preview



yeah, you dont need to adjust your watches... i know that it's not ACTUALLY game day tonite, but i wanted to get a head start.

two HUGE games tomorrow, with calgary taking on detroit, and the deadmonton coilers limping into minnesota.

while the flames have gotten off to a slow start, theyre just beginning to find there sea legs under the visionary leadership of mike keenan. when i used to play midget hockey, our coach would always tell us about peaking: as in, u dont want 2 blow your wad too early in the game (at least thats what i think he said), or the season for that matter. the flames are on slow burn right now, with the heat increasing from the embers into a slow burn... gradually enlarging into a raging hockey powerhouse inferno. with the early bugs out of the system and the players getting used to the new coach (and the coach getting used to the new players), the flames will do what the COIL cannot and will not do this season: utterly destroy the detroit red wings in a 6-2 win for the flames. Flames goals for Conroy, Lombardi (2), Iginla, Sarich, and Huselius. for detroit, chelios x 2 (hey, miracles can happen).

meanwhile, the COIL are limping into minnesota demoralized and dejected after a punishing loss (which i called btw). with macT putting his lines into the blender and calling up some extremely questionable rookies (Jean Luc Goddard Francois Jacques), and a D suffering the disastrous loss of tarnstrom (who looks to be gone for another week with a charlie horse), the coil will come home in tears after a laughable 4-1 loss to the trap-wielding Wild. MN goals for bouchard, belanger, rolston (2). Coilers goal gets credited to Pouliot after a Wild Dman accidentally sends a clearing attempt into the backskate of backstrom.

GO FLAMES!

coilers postgame review



so once again i called it, as the coilers suffered a devastating loss to the detroit red wings last night. this ABYSMALL performance is the opening salvo in a series of savage losses to come for the COIL. (in fact, were it not for a dirty play by the cogliano line and the saving grace of the crossbar, the game would have easily been a 6-1 blowout)

the coilers have gotten lucky and had a few lines who have been pulling more than they weigh, but last night's embarrassing loss to the creaky wings came YET AGAIN with no points from the highly touted stoll/nilson/torres line.

so cue the blender for mact, who doesnt know how to leave well enough alone. all 4 lines are going to be mixed up thoroughly (hence the totally ridiculous call up of Jean "Luc" Francois Jacques--a guy who is TOTALLY POINTLESS in like 40 NHL games)

while the loss of two points is like a splash of vineagar in the coils face, the real disaster is that the chemistry that has given them some early fluke success will be permanently altered for the rest of the season because of stoll/torres/nilsons failure to convert.

id hate to be in the rexall lab while professor mactavish starts playing with his parker bros chemistry set again.

if things are getting ugly for the coil right now, u dont want to see how low the ship will sink by the end of the month.

TEAM OVERBOARD!

GO FLAMES!

Monday, October 8, 2007

coilers game day

just a quickie this AM, folks. the COILERS will hit the wall like an oil-splattered butterfly tonite in motor city cuz Detroits got sooooouuuul. and theyre superbad. HAH. HIT ME!

Prediction time: a devastating 5-1 loss for the Coil. Goals for Lidstrom (2), Holmstrom, Zetterberg (2). For the coil, oh, let's say... Reasoner.

dont let the door hit u on your ass as you leave Detroit tonight.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Prediction time

So im a little late, but were only 2 games into the season and thats still early enough for me to post my predictions for what a gangbusters season this will be for the flames. i'm expecting big things. let me know what you think of the following calls?

PlayerGPGAPTS+/-
Jarome Iginla8151399022
Kristian Huselius8239508919
Alex Tanguay8228608820
Daymond Langkow8240438315
Craig Conroy8027437014
Dion Phaneuf8226386416
Matthew Lombardi8033255823
Owen Nolan752224468
Anders Eriksson78536416
Adrian Aucoin75928375
Cory Sarich71433379
Stephane Yelle721320335
Robyn Regehr80626327
Marcus Nilson721219313
Wayne Primeau601020306
Mark Smith681215272
Rhett Warrener70616225
Eric Godard406814-1
David Hale33145-1


As for the COIL, I wasted 2 minutes on those sadsack losers, too:



PlayerGPGAPTS+/-
Jarret Stoll81213152-8
Ales Hemsky65143852-9
Shawn Horcoff82183250-4
Dustin Penner82163046-13
Raffi Torres79171330-16
Andrew Cogliano75102030-5
Joni Pitkanen6542630-8
Sheldon Souray70151328-31
Tom Gilbert70111728-5
Dick Tarnstrom4641428-7
Kyle Brodziak7091827-3
Robert Nilsson76121325-18
Marty Reasoner6581220-7
Steve Staios7931518-2
Geoff Sanderson508816-16
Matt Greene82167-29
Sam Gagner9134-9
Marc Pouliot15112-8
J.F. Jacques50000-12


God theyre in for another hangover.

GO FLAMES!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

simple arithmatic



on thursday night the flames lost to philly. tonight, the coilers are playing the flyers. simple logic dictates that it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY TO IMPOSSIBLE that the oilers will beat philly. since philly beat the flames, and the flames are better than the COILERS, the coilers will lose to the philly flyers. and i cant wait for joffrey zoolander-lupul to run circles around matt greene and sheldon "minus three" souray. LOL!

Prediction time: Flyers 5, Coilers 2. Goals for Lupul (2), Briere, Gagne and Knuble. For the coil, brodziak and horcoff smironoff.

meanwhile, the flames are taking it to the vancouver canuckleheads tonight, and tonight is the time to shine. its taken a few games to click for this lineup, ill admit, but when it does--and i predict that it happens tonight--all bets are off. this lineup and coaching staff are sprinkled with stanley cup dust if you ask me.

Prediction time: Flames 4, Canuckistan 3. Flames goals for Conroy, langkow, phaneuf and iginla. Hongkouver goals for the sedins and Mitchell.

GO FLAMES!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

the future starts now: flames game day

It's official! after a gangbusters offseason that saw the flames ranks swell with the likes of stanley cup-winning coach mike keenan and defencive powerhouse adrian aucoin, the 2007 nhl season starts TONIGHT! and boy am i ever excited to watch the flames, who have had a solid preseason despite the stats, take on the philly flyers. i cannot wait for jarome and the boys to run laps around that windbag jason smith and his little buddy joffrey "blue steel" zoolander-lupul.

Prediction time: 4-1 Flames. 29 saves for the kipmeister, goals for Huselius, Tanguay, Phaneuf, and Lombardi.

oh yeah, and the COILERS are playing tonight, too, against the san jose sharks. while the flames easily dispatched the sharkies in the preseason matchups, Deadmonton will likely dump another COIL in the toilet tonight with an embarrassing 5-2 loss. i just cannot see how an overmatched team loaded with questionable rookies swimming in the deep end with no arms and legs and a "chaos d" that will lead to many Goals against can win against a stanley cup contender in the sharks. goals for McLaren, Roenick, Cheechoo, Marleau, and Grier. for the COIL, stoll and that assclown souray.

GO FLAMES!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

it's official: pronger trade a total bust



so the COILERS sent down Ladislav "Cyril" Smid today to the junior leagues (assuming he clears waivers), giving us confirmation--as if we needed any--that the chirs pronger trade was a TOTAL BUST.

The COILERS have ZERO to show for one of the greatest hockey players of the modern era. they traded Pronger to Anaheim when better options were available for Ladislav Smid, a guy with ZERO NHL experience, and Joffrey Lupul, an untalented forward who just happened to be the grandson of the team's owner. if sutter tried to pull this shit in calgary, we'd be calling for his head. but luckily we never will because sutter is a competant GM unlike kevin BLOWE.

lupul, of course, was a bust, and was traded for sandy sanderson who, while he's over the hill and sucks bad, will still get more points than dustin penner.

and now it looks like smid is going to spend the rest of his career in the junior leagues. LOL. Are the coilers the most poorly managed team of the new millennium??

so let me get this straight

the coilers are placing one of their only defencive-minded forwards, Patrick Thoreson, on waivers, when they have:
  1. the worst defencive core in the league
  2. a roster full of rookies with little to no defencive skill (pouliot, gagner, sanderson, "minus three" brodziak, raffi "mexican shocker" torres)
What's worse, they didnt even try to package the kid up in a trade package for a puck-moving defenceman or an NHL-calibre forward. what a disaster! thoreson was a player and the flames should give him a home.

Meanwhile, the signing of strong Dmen like Aucoin by the flames is looking better and better with each passing day, isn't it?